My fascination with witchcraft was preceded by my rejection of the princess. Princesses were presented in fiction as aspirational role models. Their stories offered promises of love and the nebulous happily ever after. As a young girl I looked to fiction to show me how to access my power. I wanted to know what to do when I faced a challenge. The fairy tale princesses of my childhood could not teach me these things because they were not problem solvers.

Some princesses had the means to solve their problems, but not the courage. Rapunzel was locked away in a tower, but her very body gave her the key to her escape. To earn her freedom, she only needed to cut her hair. She didn’t. Cinderella was abused by her family who used her as a servant. Her servitude gave her employable skills. She could have taken those skills to someone who would have valued her services. She didn’t.

Their reticence to escape was enabled by their abusers who crippled their self-worth. While the princesses’ prisons were not ideal, they were familiar. They had adapted to them. The world beyond was unknown, a danger for which the princesses were convinced they were ill-prepared. The princesses did not believe themselves to be fully formed individuals, capable of making their own way in the world. They were forever children whose choices needed to be made for them.

Sleeping Beauty’s choices, her marriage and curse, were made for her in her infancy. Her horrific destiny was forged in the background of her life, and she could do nothing to influence it. In the Disney version of the story, even the action of touching the spinning wheel was performed in a trance-like state, not of her own volition.

If princesses cannot be trusted to choose their paths, they cannot have true goals. Fairy tale princesses are allowed dreams, but not ambition. They cannot take what they want. They can only accept what is offered. They do not plan for the future. Therefore, they cannot achieve anything.

“Someday my prince will come,” Snow White sang. Crucially, this is not the same as “Someday I will find my prince.” She dreamed of love, but she simply waited for it. She did not pursue actively. She did not take charge of her dream; she merely primed herself to be taken. At the end of the story, she was presented in a glass coffin as if in a display case available for purchase. A prince came and kissed her, claiming her.

These are not role models for young girls. These are the avatars of the abused. They teach girls that they have no inherent power to access. They teach girls that they are incapable of solving problems, that their problems are best solved by others. They teach girls that, though they may wish something for themselves, that wish must be granted by others. Ambition is presented as evil. Ambition is presented as the realm of the witch.

The witches in the stories of my childhood took an active part in their own destinies. They didn’t just dream, they achieved their dreams independently. They took risks. They made decisions. They problem solved.

Rapunzel’s witch knew how to get in and out of the tower, and she used that knowledge. She wandered in and out of the dark forest. She was free. Cinderella may not have known how to help herself, but an older woman with magic powers did. Her “fairy godmother” hatched a plan and set it in action.

And yes, I am including the fairy godmother in my subset of witches. She was the Glinda of the Cinderella story. She was a woman equipped with the tools to overcome obstacles and make progress. She was powerful enough to empower others. It was important to my understanding of witches as I grew up to know that they weren’t all evil, that cruel intentions were not prerequisite.

The fairies in the Sleeping Beauty story were additional examples. They were presented with a problem: a curse. The power of the enchantress who created the curse was such that it could not merely be dismissed. However, these magical women worked together and formulated a strategy to mitigate the worst of the effects. They created a way in which the curse could end. They faced a challenge and surmounted it because they had power, too.

As I aged, I was able to look beyond the motivation of certain witches and examine their strategy. First, came the understanding that they had a strategy, something that princesses lacked. Snow White’s queen did not have an admirable goal, but I did admire her determination to achieve it. Her first plan failed. It relied too much on the actions of others. The hunter she charged with disposing of Snow White was not up to the task. Ultimately, she realized her failing. When she took matters into her own hand, used her tools to dispose of the princess herself, she was, at least briefly, successful.

Why a witch? Why am I so fascinated by an archetype that has been demonized for centuries? It is because self-reliance and self-determination are their lessons. They understand their power. They face challenges and develop strategies to succeed against them. They do not simply dream, they achieve.

I have fallen into the trap of the princess in my life. I have stared into the unknown and thought, “That’s too hard. That’s too scary. What if I fail?” Even in starting this blog, that princess part of me wonders if it is good enough. The witch in me laughs at this, seeing the question as a form of surrender. “If you don’t try,” she says, “you have failed already.”

So, I will summon my power, and I will publish.